L00k what y0u did, S0llux
by Kawi Leonard
Summary: "L00k what y0u did, th0ugh." She spoke, although the only eye which had sight in it was trained firmly at some point over Solluxs shoulder. "L00k what y0u did t0 me, S0llux." AU Oneshot Sollux/Aradia. Sollux doesn't manage to kill Aradia when mind-controlled, and he's left to pick up the pieces of their shattered relationship.


"AA."

Sollux lips felt dry, and his tongue snaked out to wet them, trying to swallow the social anxiety that rose in his chest. He stared at the back of her head, willing her to turn.

"S0llux." She greeted softly, her voice a slightly rasped whisper. His heart seemed to skip a beat as she spoke, and he found himself taking a step forward, trying to struggle through his anguish that coursed inside him like a tsunami.

She didn't, however, turn her head.

"We haven't 2poken iin a whiile." He grimaced at his words, he felt like a begging child. "II diidn't though iif you were 2tiill mad at me."

She seemed to sigh, her shoulders hunching over slightly.

"N0." She murmured. "I'm n0t mad. I'm 0kay."

"II diidn't mean two do iit, AA. II promi2e."

"I kn0w y0u didn't."

A silence stretched ahead of them, and with a dash of confidence and sheer longing, Sollux finally closed the distance between them. Sticking out a hand, he grasped the chair that sat opposite Aradia and seated himself in it, taking a deep breath and looking at her.

He held back a gasp that tore at his throat, disguising it rather poorly as a cough. His eyes traced the thick scar tissue that spread across the female trolls once gorgeous face in a spider web like pattern. At its thickest, a few beads of blood still glazed her skin, her grey colouring appearing dramatically darker around the edge of the flaws, while her left eye was almost completely mangled, a mess of scars and blood. Her left horn remained chipped and fragile looking, her once long and luscious hair now slightly cropped in some places, still matted with all matter of fluids and such.

She hadn't bothered to clear herself up.

"L00k what y0u did, th0ugh." She spoke, although the only eye which had sight in it was trained firmly at some point over Solluxs shoulder. "L00k what y0u did t0 me, S0llux."

"II'm 2orry." He gasped out suddenly, and with what felt like slash of pain, just around his ribs, he slammed his head down onto the table, clutching at his hair with his fingers, ripping out a few small clumps. The backs of his eyes began to sting, and tears soon cascaded down his cheek. "II'm 2orry, 2orry, 2orry." He chanted, his breathing uneven. "II diidn't mean two, iit wa2n't me. 2he made me do iit. II fought but iit wa2n't enough and ii'm 2o 2orry."

"I kn0w it wasn't y0u, S0llux." Aradia told him, her voice almost a monotone, void of even the smallest hint of emotion. "And I'm n0t mad at y0u. I'm 0kay. But l00k at me, S0llux."

He paused his scratching at his horns and glanced up, once again taking in her face.

But, despite everything, all he saw was _beauty._

She was still Aradia. His AA. And she was still so perfect. Her eyes still swam with the deepest mysterious, and if he imagined even slightly, he could pretend that they still sparkled. When she would call him up excitedly and ramble about the new fossil she had found. Or.. just when they spent time together. How she laughed, her perfect teeth. How her hair kinked at her shoulder before cascading down her back, her perfectly curled horns, her..

"I'm a m0nster, S0llux."

"II 2tiill love you, AA."

She finally moved. She frowned.

"IIt wa2 Vri2ka who hurt you." He sniffed, his tears starting to dry up. "Not me. 2he ju2t u2ed my body."

Aradia didn't reply. She kept frowning.

"II love you, AA."

Aradia suddenly stood, placing her palms flat on the table as she pushed herself up. She continued to glare at the point behind Solluxs shoulder as she spoke.

"It will always be y0u wh0 did this t0 me, S0llux. It was y0u're hand. It was y0u're face I saw. N0thing will change that, t0 me."

Sollux felt his jaw open, and he stared at her, throbbing pain spreading over his body. Hurt, desperation, and regret hit him like a lash, in a sick, rythmic pattern.

"S0rry."

Without another word, she turned her back, hunching her head and closing the door behind her.

"2orry." Sollux whispered to no one in particular. "2orry."


End file.
